We present a Brownian inchworm model of a self-propelled elastic dimer in the absence of an external potential. Nonequilibrium noise together with a stretch-dependent damping form the propulsion mechanism. Our model connects three key nonequilibrium features-position-velocity correlations, a nonzero mean internal force, and a drift velocity. Our analytical results, including striking current reversals, compare very well with numerical simulations. The model unifies the propulsion mechanisms of DNA helicases, polar rods on a vibrated surface, crawling keratocytes and Myosin VI. We suggest experimental realizations and tests of the model.